Eff-bombs

I've been a Brooklyn resident now, for what?...a little over a year, and not a day has passed that I haven't been cat-called, leered at, or all out sexually assaulted. It's as much a neighborhood charm as, say, baby strollers or early morn' street fights outside your window. Even when I'm fug as shit, wearing the sweats, my hair frizzed, and I have my tortoise-shell rims on, I get atleast (at the VERY least) a "Hey Ma!" Which, y'know, is just like apart of the game. 'Cause when I finally do shower and straighten my shit out, I'm not exactly repulsive, so I can't necessarily control where you look. But can't a sista' control what you say?!? Damn, have some respect and keep your comments to yourself, or at like a hushed whisper. Just last week I had to cuss a fool out on the corner, because he was just getting too loud with that shit. He was of course the PASSENGER of this huge 18-wheeler, just talking smack at me while I waited to cross the street. I thought he would stop after a few comments and no response on my part--negative. He just kept on, so I finally had to scream, "SHUT THE FUCK UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!" All of DeKalb Ave. stopped at this point, and stared at me scream up at this huge truck. I mean, for real, I was really just on my way to the bodega, and this was the very last thing I needed. But this ignorant fool wouldn't quit! He proceeded to cuss ME out! Yeah...that's my favorite, when so quickly a come-on, becomes a "fuck you!" I became irate at this point, and was like, "YOU'RE THE ONE TALKING ALL THAT SHIT! WHY DO I HAVE TO SHUT THE FUCK UP?!?" His buddy finally got the damn cue, and turned the corner, but I was fuming. Just on fire. And that's really a rarity to get me that heated, because when I'm out and about, I just keep walking. I blare my iPod and don't stop for anyone or anything. I mean, I've heard it all--literally, and I let it roll off my shoulders. You have to in this city, but sometimes you have to make a scene to let others know this shit is for real. And just so you know that I haven't lost my damn sense of humor/irony/mind about all this, I thought I could do a little poll and see what everyone's "favorite" leer is....

I mean, a girl has so many choices these days. Let's see there's...
1.) the classic hiss
2.) "Hey Ma!"
3.) "Can I get a smile?"...(silence on your part)..."Alright, fuck you then!"
4.) "Bless you"
5.) the kissy-kissy dog call
6.) the car honk as you cross the street
7.) "Damn, look at 'dem legs!"
8.) "Woowee! Girl, you know you fine!"
9.) "Can I talk to you for a minute?" (they usually want to talk at like two in the morning)
10.) "Can't a fella compliment a girl anymore? Damn..."

My money's on #3...it's always a crowd-pleaser.