Sunday, August 27, 2006

#1 White Male Fantasy Strikes Again

So I got my hands on J.T.'s leaked album, and I can't stop listening to this shit. It's like vinyl meth. And as I told my bff, if you don't fuck after listening to his eponymous track, "FutureLove/SexSounds"...well, it's not loud enough.

Friday, August 18, 2006


Here goes Katie Holmes-Cruise sans her "baby", Suri, spending more of R.L. Hubbard's damn money at Barney's. This girl is so freakin' boring, just dropping bones on lattes and clothes she'll only don around the compound she finds herself trapped in. That girl needs a job and a cocktail, stat.... Four words, "Joey": the jig is up!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

On a lighter note...

Here is Common's new ad campaign for Gap. ::shaking head:: Wowsa--he can fall into my LAP any day.... And YES, I've been sitting on that joke since I saw the damn picture--what of it?!? But seriously Common has been in my top ten since high school. I actually ran into him about a month ago at my old work, Blue Ribbon BK, but my hair wasn't straightened out nor the outfit, so I refused introductions be made. I did, however, walk past his table on the way to the bathroom, and like sent out positive energy.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


I've been a Brooklyn resident now, for what?...a little over a year, and not a day has passed that I haven't been cat-called, leered at, or all out sexually assaulted. It's as much a neighborhood charm as, say, baby strollers or early morn' street fights outside your window. Even when I'm fug as shit, wearing the sweats, my hair frizzed, and I have my tortoise-shell rims on, I get atleast (at the VERY least) a "Hey Ma!" Which, y'know, is just like apart of the game. 'Cause when I finally do shower and straighten my shit out, I'm not exactly repulsive, so I can't necessarily control where you look. But can't a sista' control what you say?!? Damn, have some respect and keep your comments to yourself, or at like a hushed whisper. Just last week I had to cuss a fool out on the corner, because he was just getting too loud with that shit. He was of course the PASSENGER of this huge 18-wheeler, just talking smack at me while I waited to cross the street. I thought he would stop after a few comments and no response on my part--negative. He just kept on, so I finally had to scream, "SHUT THE FUCK UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!" All of DeKalb Ave. stopped at this point, and stared at me scream up at this huge truck. I mean, for real, I was really just on my way to the bodega, and this was the very last thing I needed. But this ignorant fool wouldn't quit! He proceeded to cuss ME out! Yeah...that's my favorite, when so quickly a come-on, becomes a "fuck you!" I became irate at this point, and was like, "YOU'RE THE ONE TALKING ALL THAT SHIT! WHY DO I HAVE TO SHUT THE FUCK UP?!?" His buddy finally got the damn cue, and turned the corner, but I was fuming. Just on fire. And that's really a rarity to get me that heated, because when I'm out and about, I just keep walking. I blare my iPod and don't stop for anyone or anything. I mean, I've heard it all--literally, and I let it roll off my shoulders. You have to in this city, but sometimes you have to make a scene to let others know this shit is for real. And just so you know that I haven't lost my damn sense of humor/irony/mind about all this, I thought I could do a little poll and see what everyone's "favorite" leer is....

I mean, a girl has so many choices these days. Let's see there's...
1.) the classic hiss
2.) "Hey Ma!"
3.) "Can I get a smile?"...(silence on your part)..."Alright, fuck you then!"
4.) "Bless you"
5.) the kissy-kissy dog call
6.) the car honk as you cross the street
7.) "Damn, look at 'dem legs!"
8.) "Woowee! Girl, you know you fine!"
9.) "Can I talk to you for a minute?" (they usually want to talk at like two in the morning)
10.) "Can't a fella compliment a girl anymore? Damn..."

My money's on's always a crowd-pleaser.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Here's a pic of Kelis at a VIP concert to promote her upcoming LP, "Kelis Was Here." She's bri-zilli-ant. It's like, "Yeah, rock that white Afghani caftan onesy with some orange platforms...and rock it hard, girl."

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

H.O.V. loves the kids

Um, how cute is Jigga right there?!? With the diaper patrol and everything! He's holding Solange's (B!'s younger sis) baby, Daniel, and he's got it down pat. I mean, when you can get a brother to do diaper patrol, he's most definitely on lock!

Baby, sit down! Just sit your ass down!

Please, for the love of be-jesus, make this girl chill the fuck out! She's going to be dead/over-exposed/dried up by the time she's legally allowed to drink. And she wonders why Scarlett Jo. gets all the "serious" roles for young actresses: because she ain't busy getting hammered with the "Pink Taco" dude--she and Woody are scripting out their new film, that's why! Now, H.A.M., sit your ass down!